A number of years ago I felt an intense need for change.  My life was good and despite being employed, healthy and much loved, something was off.  It wasn't a mid-life crisis per se as there was nothing negative going on in my life, however I was feeling uninspired and was thinking "what's the point in all of this"?  

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Have you ever felt that way? I believe many of us have felt "stuck" at some point in our lives.  But what does being stuck  mean? Some synonyms for stuck are trapped, caught, ensnared, stumped, baffled, confused.  It also means "unable to change or get away from a situation". Feeling stuck could be in relation to a place, a job, a relationship, a stage of life, or a set of thoughts and behaviors. For me it was that I was stuck in a particular set of negative thinking patterns that were causing me to feel unhappy and stagnant.   I had been in this mindset and way of being for so long that it was my normal.  I didn't realize I was on auotpilot and not living life fully until the nagging feeling of "stuckness" got stronger and stronger.  That's when I made the decision to ask myslef some deep and important questions and TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for my life.   

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At some point in our lives, I believe many of us will come to an important realisation, and it’s this – NOBODY IS COMING TO SAVE US EXCEPT OURSELVES.  Not our parents or kids, not our spouses/partners, not our boss or colleagues and not our friends.  While we are never alone and we must find the courage to reach out for support, when we hit that point in our life where we know something needs to change, it's important to look within for the beginning of a solution. Of course, the first step is to acknowledge that we need support, which many of us find hard to do.  We've been programmed all of our lives to be strong, capable, tough, independent.......you name it, we're supposed to be it!   In addition to and as a result of this programming, we believe we shouldn't need help and if we do, we are "weak". 

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For many years I was trying to "fix" what I thought was wrong with me on my own, and when I finally reached out for help, I had an epiphany.  I AM NOT BROKEN!  I’m just not expressing who I am meant to be - who I really am - and it was because I had so many thoughts of who everyone else wanted me to be.   We humans tend to look externally for everything that we think is going to solve our issues, make us feel better about ourselves, feel loved or gain acceptance.  We are constantly looking to others for answers, advice, love, attention, and validation.  I was doing exactly that (and I still do at times).  While it’s true that as humans we need these things to some extent from others, we have forgotten that we have the answers and what we really need within us.  The trouble is we never look there.  We never look into our own hearts and minds for truth because we are so busy thinking automatic thoughts, most of which are not even our own!  We don't realize the amazing power of opening our hearts and of managing our minds, which we all have the capacity to do.

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Are you aware of your thinking and the effects it has on your life?  Do you ever think negatively about yourself?  Do you think you don't deserve success?  Do you think you aren't "good enough" or worthy of love and/or good things happening to you?  How often do you say "I can't" or "I don't know how"?  Are there things about your life that you would like to change but for some reason no matter how hard you try, you just can't seem to do it?  Do you self-sabotage when things start to go well?  Believe me, you are not alone!  We all have blind spots about our own thinking and we can't always see how that might be holding us back in life. 

 

I have been in the "mud" of where you are, and it has taken me time, energy, and a lot of tears and hard work to get to where I am today.  I know myself better, I believe in myself more and I am growing and healing every day.  I did not get here alone, however.  "It takes a village" is not just a proverb about children.  Community is so important when it comes to growth and healing, making changes in our lives, or trying to live our dreams. There is plenty of information out there but forward motion can be supported when you have guidance from someone who has been on a similar path and you feel understood and supported in your experience of the ups and downs you are going through.  I wouldn't be where I am today without that support and it was a catalyst in my decision to act on something I was feeling in my heart for years.  I want to be of service to others in navigating life's obstacles and so I got certified as a Life Coach.  I believe we all have something to give and the more of us that use our talents, gifts and life experience to help others, the more we help the world - and goodness knows the world could use some help right now! 

 

I have done the work, and continue to do the work daily to continue learning and evolving.  Do I have it all figured out?  Heck no!  And I don't know anyone who does, but I do know that without love, compassion and support, some of us will not express the "gift that we all are" to this world.  I believe we all need someone to walk with us on our journey, even if for a short while until we know what direction we are heading in.  It may not be me that resonates with you, and that's perfectly ok, but I invite you to have a chat with me.  If it leads you to making a decision to invest in becoming more of yourself, honouring your own growth or committing to your own healing, then a seed as been planted.  

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